They say time waits for no man. Karl disagrees. He has bent time itself — finishing races faster at 37 than at 28, acquiring degrees like others acquire groceries, and somehow fitting three lifetimes into one. The clocks drip. Karl runs.
Every legend contains multitudes. Karl contains at least six.
Five times he descended into Kalmar's waters and emerged, hours later, reborn. Each time faster. Each time more certain that the body is merely a vehicle to be optimized, like a supply chain, like a truck he is licensed to drive.
He follows the white rabbit not out of curiosity but compulsion. "I'll just quickly check," he whispers, and the world above grows silent for hours. He returns bearing frameworks. Nobody asked for the frameworks.
Since before memory. Every role held, every knot tied, every campfire lit. When there were no more roles, he transcended into auditor — counting not just knots but the very finances of 5,000 souls.
Asked for a shelf, he builds a cathedral. Asked for an analysis, he delivers a company-wide philosophy. The over-engineering is not a flaw. It is the art. Every framework is a love letter to unnecessary complexity.
He holds the license. No one knows why. No one dares ask anymore. It exists outside of reason, outside of need — a pure, beautiful credential floating in the void, mentioned at every dinner, understood by none.
He finishes Ironmans but not side projects. He completes degrees but not personal repos. The "almost" is not failure — it is philosophy. To finish is to end. Karl does not end. Karl continues.
"The alchemist sought to turn lead into gold. Karl sought to turn a simple spreadsheet into a twelve-tab Power BI dashboard with live data feeds. Both succeeded. Both were misunderstood."The Book of Karl, Chapter IV
"And the universe said: rest. And Karl said: I have a truck license. And the universe said: why. And Karl said nothing, for he was already swimming."The Book of Karl, Chapter VII
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the teacher is Karl, the student learns negotiation, leadership, triathlon, and the approximate cost of a fuel filter."The Book of Karl, Chapter XII
"To finish a project is to admit it is no longer worth optimizing. This is why Karl's projects are never finished. They are eternal. They are sacred. They are at forty-seven percent."The Book of Karl, Chapter XLVII
"The boy asked the old man: what is the meaning of life? The old man replied: I don't know, but there's a guy in Göteborg who has a truck license, five Ironmans, and two degrees and he seems to be figuring it out."The Alchemist (deleted scene)
not a CV — a constellation
Start project → enter rabbit hole → over-engineer → "almost finish" → start new project → repeat until heat death of universe